Friday, August 9, 2013

Life Goes On....

Life is going on and on, and it always is.  This is always a good thing, don't get me wrong. 

Sometimes in life, you miss big events that mean a lot to people that you love.  Just the other day, my beautiful niece Courtney got her driver's license.  I am so incredibly proud of her, because I know it isn't easy.  Can't wait to see her behind the wheel when Ian and I go back for our next visit.  Way to go, Courtney!!

Congrats, Courtney!

It's just amazing to see how much the girls have grown over the years.  And it's incredibly strange to go back for visits, and see how much they have changed.  Jackie is growing up fast as well, and although I don't regret moving to England and having a lovely life with my wonderful husband, I sometimes wish I could have the best of both worlds - my nieces AND Ian together.  The only way that would ever happen is if we moved back to Ohio, but we are by no means able to do that at this moment in time.
The gorgeous girls.

The plus side is, at least we get to see each other on visits.  It's never enough time when you visit someone, but it's better than nothing.

Am I weird for feeling a bit "out of the loop" when life goes on and I'm not there to see it?  Do I need to "snap out of it"?  I don't know.  But I hope that one day I will either come to terms with how I'm feeling and deal with it, or it'll just get better with a visit next year.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

End of July

Hello, to those who have possibly maybe seen the blog since I last wrote?!

We are getting near the end of July, and I just wanted to recap what has been happening the last couple of weeks.

Well....a week ago we had a surprise 80th birthday party for my MIL.  It was super duper hot that day, so everyone worked on their tan and sweat their behinds off.  But, I think Mum enjoyed it while it was going on, and she got to see her brother, who she hadn't seen in over a year.

Mum with her brother Bill.

 Then Thursday rolled around this past week, and I found myself in a bit of deja vu.  We had a meeting at work with people from the council, and once the sheet went up to sign up for a slot to attend, I knew what was about to happen. It was announced that the current HCC home I work at is going to possibly under public consultation to close come this coming November.  I was devastated. 

Although I haven't settled, and I've not been 100% happy, it's still difficult to go through a home closure twice in one year.  Not.  Cool.  So will be speaking with HR people this week to see what my options are now.  Unsettling to not know what the future may hold.

But, after a chat with Ian, I do not feel as anxious this time as last time when Cornerways shut.  Ian is right, saying "At the end of the day, we have each other, and that is all that matters."

So, after a crappy end to the work week, yesterday brought love and happiness.  Ian and I went up to Romford to Mel and Rob's place, and Jan was visiting this week so we got to see her as well!  Haven't seen Jan since June 2012, so it was nice to catch up again and spend a day together.  It's tough with life and living far away, but it's nice to know that no matter how much time passes, we can still be friends and it feels like no time has passed.  You know you've got a friend for life when that can happen.
The gang on Saturday.
So now we're to Sunday.  Ian is cooking a roast dinner (despite it being like, 80F outside), and I am relaxing and waiting for laundry to dry.
I hope all of you have had a nice weekend, and try and enjoy your week!

Friday, July 12, 2013

Revisiting the ol' Blog

Goodness me!!!

It has been over 2 years since I last posted on the blog.  How time flies!

Recently, I have been thinking a lot, and I remembered that I used to get all of my feelings out on my blog (well, the majority of them, anyway).  Lately I have been feeling a bit lost in life, and I thought that I should write in a journal again, like I used to do when I was younger. 

Life isn't about pen and paper anymore though, so I decided it's time to start documenting life once again via the tinternet (that's what Northern English call the internet). 

So let's see....a recap of the last 2 years:

Ian and I are still married.  Still working.  Still moving around.  Since the last time I posted, we moved twice.  We had moved back to Winchester for a year, and then when Cornerways shut, I got a new job out in eastern Hampshire.  It was such a long drive every day from Winchester to the new job, so Ian and I decided to pack up house once again and moved to Portsmouth.

We really like it down here.  We like the neighbourhood.  And the flat that we live in is bigger than our old one, and for less money.  We don't, however, like the fact that we live further away from our friends.

Leaving Cornerways was sad.  Our last summer there was an amazing one.  We had celebrations for The Queen's Diamond Jubilee.  I was able to hold an Olympic torch.  I grew strong bonds with people I worked with, as well as residents too.  The one resident that really changed my life, Dolores, passed away last year.  Her funeral was beautiful.  Her coffin was a gorgeous white, with music staffs and notes dancing around it....just what Dolores would have wanted.  I met a lot of her old friends that she used to play with, and stories from the past with stories of when Dolores went into care were shared.  It was just really nice to reflect on the woman that touched all of our lives.

In April of last year I went back to Ohio for a week to visit the family.  It was an amazing week that went far too fast.  Jackie turned 10 this past April, and I can't believe by the time I see the girls again, Jackie will be well into middle school, and Courtney will be getting ready to graduate high school.  Time flies.

Lots of our dear friends have had or are expecting children.  Jamie and Alan now have the lovely Lincoln.  Jan and Abel now have Bram.  Mel gave birth to gorgeous Victoria about 3.5 months ago.  Meg is expecting a little baby girl too!  Babies, babies everywhere! :)

Jessie is now engaged to a wonderful man named Dan and they are getting married at the end of September next year!!!   Can't wait to go back to Ohio with Ian and share in their special day.

My new job I began on my birthday last year.  I won't go into too much detail and about my feelings about the job and the place where I work, but I am doing what I was doing before.  Jessie is just about to start her dream job, and everyone is so proud of her landing it! :)

Clarabella and I were able to see Lady Gaga last year, which was an amazing experience.  And just a couple of weeks ago, Kathryn, Sandie, and I went to Wembley Stadium and saw Robbie Williams and Olly Murs together.  Man, what an INCREDIBLE evening! 

Now....we're a day away from a surprise birthday party for my MIL. She turned 80 on the 5th July, so family and friends from all over the country are joining together to celebrate her life.  Her memory has deteriorated in the last few years, plus her brother is now living in a care home, so this may be the last time they get to see each other.  Every big event we go into it with "this may be the last chance" since Dementia is such an unpredictable illness.

Ian and I are also off to Spain at the end of September this year.  We were supposed to go last year after I got back from my trip to Ohio, but just as we were about to get on the plane, we thought Ian was having a heart attack. Thankfully, it wasn't, and Ian's health is now turning around. I don't know what I would've done if he had had a heart attack.  I don't know what I would do without Ian.

Lately I have been feeling incredibly emotional.  I am now almost completely off my antidepressants, which I don't know if it's a good thing.  Shortly after my Dad left from his visit to England 2 years ago, I started taking medication to deal with my heavy depression.  It was hard for me at the time.  The day my Dad arrived in England he informed me that my younger brother had a brain tumour, which we later found out was cancerous.  My brother is o.k. now, and had the surgery to remove the tumour shortly after my Dad got back to Ohio.  Between my brother being ill, my Dad leaving, and also my Mom being tested for cancer, I couldn't cope.  I was tired all of the time, I was crying all of the time, and just incredibly low.  My doctor suggested antidepressants as a short term solution, which I agreed to do because I have been battling depression since I was 16 yrs. old.  I'm not cured.  I don't think I'll ever be 100% happy.  But I am now at the point in my life where I thought I don't want to be on these pills anymore, so I am coming off of them slowly.  We shall see how I can cope once I am completely off of them.  Hopefully blogging will help me get feelings and emotions out, because keeping them in is just too hurtful for me.

So, as I blog when I need to, hopefully the healing process will continue. 

Here's to life, healing, and the pursuit of happiness.