Friday, July 12, 2013

Revisiting the ol' Blog

Goodness me!!!

It has been over 2 years since I last posted on the blog.  How time flies!

Recently, I have been thinking a lot, and I remembered that I used to get all of my feelings out on my blog (well, the majority of them, anyway).  Lately I have been feeling a bit lost in life, and I thought that I should write in a journal again, like I used to do when I was younger. 

Life isn't about pen and paper anymore though, so I decided it's time to start documenting life once again via the tinternet (that's what Northern English call the internet). 

So let's see....a recap of the last 2 years:

Ian and I are still married.  Still working.  Still moving around.  Since the last time I posted, we moved twice.  We had moved back to Winchester for a year, and then when Cornerways shut, I got a new job out in eastern Hampshire.  It was such a long drive every day from Winchester to the new job, so Ian and I decided to pack up house once again and moved to Portsmouth.

We really like it down here.  We like the neighbourhood.  And the flat that we live in is bigger than our old one, and for less money.  We don't, however, like the fact that we live further away from our friends.

Leaving Cornerways was sad.  Our last summer there was an amazing one.  We had celebrations for The Queen's Diamond Jubilee.  I was able to hold an Olympic torch.  I grew strong bonds with people I worked with, as well as residents too.  The one resident that really changed my life, Dolores, passed away last year.  Her funeral was beautiful.  Her coffin was a gorgeous white, with music staffs and notes dancing around it....just what Dolores would have wanted.  I met a lot of her old friends that she used to play with, and stories from the past with stories of when Dolores went into care were shared.  It was just really nice to reflect on the woman that touched all of our lives.

In April of last year I went back to Ohio for a week to visit the family.  It was an amazing week that went far too fast.  Jackie turned 10 this past April, and I can't believe by the time I see the girls again, Jackie will be well into middle school, and Courtney will be getting ready to graduate high school.  Time flies.

Lots of our dear friends have had or are expecting children.  Jamie and Alan now have the lovely Lincoln.  Jan and Abel now have Bram.  Mel gave birth to gorgeous Victoria about 3.5 months ago.  Meg is expecting a little baby girl too!  Babies, babies everywhere! :)

Jessie is now engaged to a wonderful man named Dan and they are getting married at the end of September next year!!!   Can't wait to go back to Ohio with Ian and share in their special day.

My new job I began on my birthday last year.  I won't go into too much detail and about my feelings about the job and the place where I work, but I am doing what I was doing before.  Jessie is just about to start her dream job, and everyone is so proud of her landing it! :)

Clarabella and I were able to see Lady Gaga last year, which was an amazing experience.  And just a couple of weeks ago, Kathryn, Sandie, and I went to Wembley Stadium and saw Robbie Williams and Olly Murs together.  Man, what an INCREDIBLE evening! 

Now....we're a day away from a surprise birthday party for my MIL. She turned 80 on the 5th July, so family and friends from all over the country are joining together to celebrate her life.  Her memory has deteriorated in the last few years, plus her brother is now living in a care home, so this may be the last time they get to see each other.  Every big event we go into it with "this may be the last chance" since Dementia is such an unpredictable illness.

Ian and I are also off to Spain at the end of September this year.  We were supposed to go last year after I got back from my trip to Ohio, but just as we were about to get on the plane, we thought Ian was having a heart attack. Thankfully, it wasn't, and Ian's health is now turning around. I don't know what I would've done if he had had a heart attack.  I don't know what I would do without Ian.

Lately I have been feeling incredibly emotional.  I am now almost completely off my antidepressants, which I don't know if it's a good thing.  Shortly after my Dad left from his visit to England 2 years ago, I started taking medication to deal with my heavy depression.  It was hard for me at the time.  The day my Dad arrived in England he informed me that my younger brother had a brain tumour, which we later found out was cancerous.  My brother is o.k. now, and had the surgery to remove the tumour shortly after my Dad got back to Ohio.  Between my brother being ill, my Dad leaving, and also my Mom being tested for cancer, I couldn't cope.  I was tired all of the time, I was crying all of the time, and just incredibly low.  My doctor suggested antidepressants as a short term solution, which I agreed to do because I have been battling depression since I was 16 yrs. old.  I'm not cured.  I don't think I'll ever be 100% happy.  But I am now at the point in my life where I thought I don't want to be on these pills anymore, so I am coming off of them slowly.  We shall see how I can cope once I am completely off of them.  Hopefully blogging will help me get feelings and emotions out, because keeping them in is just too hurtful for me.

So, as I blog when I need to, hopefully the healing process will continue. 

Here's to life, healing, and the pursuit of happiness.

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